I GOT A PART!!! I was thrilled to receive an itty bitty, teeny tiny role in a super short play. I am excited to be performing again. This small role gives me a chance to warm up muscles that have been dormant for too long (performing for an audience of one doesn’t count). The performance is on March 19th; I’ll give more details as the show approaches. Thank you to everyone who sent me encouragement. Stay tuned.
Happy Friday! Another work week finished. Unfortunately, a finished work week does not equal finished work. Right now, I am all about wanting to finish things. I want to have an idea, feed it and watch it grow; I want the idea to become a plan; I want the plan to come to fruition. I want to START something and FINISH it.
I admitted in a recent post, that I don’t know what I am doing. I am still figuring out how to get from point A to point B, and at times I feel like I don’t know where I am going. I am also still figuring out how to do it all in the time allotted. There is a finite amount of time in a day, but we all get the same amount. There is a finite amount of time I have on this earth, but I cannot know how much time is allotted to me. I have witnessed time be unkind to several people very close to me, so even though I am young, I carry an intense sense of urgency. I used to be convinced of my own impending finality. I honestly never thought I would even live very long past 18. Often the passage of time feels heavy like a physical weight I must carry around as a reminder not to get too comfortable. That uncomfortable feeling keeps me from getting complacent, but it also means it’s hard for me to relax. I never think what I am doing is enough. I hate that I haven’t accomplished more of my goals.
I have this tiny problem when it comes to #GettingStuffDone: I take a really long time to do EVERYTHING! Write. Read. Answer emails. Even my natural walk is slow, which is a problem when I visit places like New York, because I can’t keep up. That is largely how I feel now. I feel like I cannot keep up. I am not trying to keep up with anyone else, more so keep up with all the things I am seeking to accomplish in the time I have allotted. There are so many possibilities, and I love exploring them. As a creative person, who loves to learn, I thrive in learning environments and new opportunities. But what that means is, a lot of times I end up pursuing various avenues, but not following one path to the end. The reality for me is that all my interest are valuable to me, I just don’t know how to juggle them. I suck at prioritizing one over another. Everything seems equally important and whatever is most urgent is what demands my attention. Perhaps that is the difficult side of being a creative artist.
So many of my hours must be dedicated to other tasks. I have this thing called “bills to pay”, and if you’re like me, you even need to eat sometimes. I must work to eat and pay bills, and the majority of my hours have been spent clocked in, fulfilling someone else’s mission statement. Then there are filler task, aka busy work, aka administrative duties: laundry, cleaning house, grocery shopping, scheduling doctor visits, washing my hair, etc. The hours can get spent up pretty quickly, and most of the time they don’t feel like my hours. Even when my time is my own, I am still learning how best to utilize it.
Our days can get so busy. But busy doing what? What are we filling our days with? How much of our time is ours? How many of the hours in a day are ours? Do you find enough of YOU in YOUr day? Finding the time that is ours, dedicated to learning new things, putting new work out, self promoting. How do you spend your creative time? Do you have a process?
Special thank you to readers:
Thank you for using some of the limited hours in your day to read my words. I hope that they add and not take away from your time. I look forward to sharing many more words with you. Please leave a comment and let me know what are some things you struggle with.
Let me know. I want to hear from you.
What fills your day? Is it unbalanced between all work and no play? Where do you find the time to write and post (or pursue whatever passion interests you)? Do you have a day job now, or what sort of day job helped support your art during the early days?